Back to being Crap - Duct Tape Dummy Part 1

So I have been having a few weeks break. During this time I have started and abandoned at least a dozen projects, mainly down to sizing. I am so confused by the measurements, particularly the hip, bust waist ratios that are used on many patterns. Not to mention that you would need a degree in bloody physics to understand the patterning on the Burda style pattern sheets!I mean jesus look at them!

I was so excited to do my dress until I saw this. I think I would need a bloody sat nav to make my way around these sheet, and the sizing is just plain weird
Not a happy bunny

These make less than no sense to me so I have decided to go back to the beginning and start over. This has involved me making a duct tape dress form, yes that's right, duct tape. It started going wrong from the beginning when I covered our kitchen in strips of duct tape to make applying them to my body easier. It didn't, my boyfriend complained bitterly after realising that I had accidentally covered every surface in our kitchen in gunk and taped all the cupboards together. We ploughed on however and finally I had a plastic me, I am currently trying to fill it with news paper and insulating foam. As soon as it's finished I'll post a picture. As a side note, I don't recommend doing this if you have body image concerns. Seeing myself in 3D is pretty much my worse nightmare. I have NO shape, seriously, I'm just straight up and down and wide. This was cool when I was younger, played keys in a band, weighed literally half what I do now and I revelled in looking gender ambiguous but now it just makes me want to cry. This having been said it's also been a positive thing in a way. When you're recovering from an eating disorder you have to ignore your body image, I've become and expert at ignoring what I look like but the Duct tape Dummy has brought it into focus again and to be honest I think I need that. I want to lose weight but I think I might just be ready to do it without killing myself.

While writing this I have been listening to this