Am I Clothes Donkey rather than a Clothes Horse?

So this year I have actually decided to make a resolution that is nigh on impossible. 

I have nearly stopped smoking so it's not that

I took up running about 3 years ago so it's not that 

My liver function tests came back clear so no need to give up the booze yet. (thank god)

This year from the 11th of Jan I have vowed to buy no new clothes, 

Not one item ..... nothing

Not even bras or pants 

On Sunday I am going on a sock buying mission as I have no idea on how to make them but from Monday the 11th of January I am taking a year long vow of wardrobe celibacy. And this ... also....devastatingly... includes my beloved designer handbags (cries) 

I know this makes me sound shallow but let me explain my reasoning. 

When I was ill and unmedicated shopping was a real comfort to me, the horror I felt from gaining a pound or the misery I felt at my reflection could be glossed over with a shiny new outfit and thanks to Primark I could get a whole new wardrobe every week if I so chose. One of my old housemates once remarked that she'd never (in the 18 months we shared for) seen me wear the same item twice. When I recovered from my ED I sold all of my unrealistic sizes. Again though shopping for nice clothes helped me embrace my changing body and thus, unfortunately, the floordrobe is back....with a vengence. You see the issue is that yes I am currently a size 16 - 18 but a 12 doesn't seem that unattainable so on top of my winter and summer wardrobes I have a VERY SOON collection that outsizes them both.

We joke in my house that we have two infestations 1) Books (mostly my OHs) and 2) Clothes (mostly mine). We have these every where - in the kitchen cupboards = Books - underneath the sofa = Books and Shoes - next to the fusebox = books and bags and clothes. under the bed......... basically anywhere we can find a structural orifice = Books and Clothes.  It is a real problem.

When I say this I mean it both spatially and morally (well not so much the books). In a previous life I worked in fashion logistics so the fact that I will happily pay for ANY of the shit in the shops is a) A study in cognitive dissonance. b) a suspension of my humanity facilitated by my magpie brain. and c) pure stupidity from a cost view (when you see the bottom line for this crap it's nauseating.)

We all know that high street shops stock clothes made using slave labour. For those of us who can afford or have the creative means to do otherwise (and I mean ecological and fair trade, not designer), when we preen and coo in the mirror, marvelling at the fact that dress only costs £15, in that moment, when we are thinking only of our own self image, we are truly solipsistic.  And if you do that while saying that you are a (insert left wing ideology here) then you need to come to terms that you are voting right wing, capitalism at all costs, fuck everyone else with the vote that really counts .... your money. 

Me, I'm done 

I say this as a hypocrite, just last week I saw a coat I liked in the window of a discount shop and bought it for a tenner, walking out, beaming, bag in hand before saying to myself 'SHIT - I've just broke my new years resolution!' It was like I was programmed

1) Like....2) Fits......3)Cheap

I didn't even realise what I'd done, like I was hypnotised by the newness of the BARGAIN. It kind of shocked me though as the nature of my consumerism has been really bothering me recently, yet suddenly my belief is suspended by a pink and grey houndstooth with a fur collar. Not cool. And that is why I'm letting myself off (just this once). It was close to an unconscious action.

So I am setting myself a challenge that shouldn't really be a challenge but is because I almost feel like I've been brainwashed. (see above paragraph), and here are my rules 

1) If I absolutely have to buy something from a shop it must be a charity shop (so no new clothes)

2) If I make something I want I must sell/donate/chuck a similar item from my collection 

3) When something no longer fits I must sell/donate/chuck

4) I will spend no more than £50 a month on fabric

5) If I can fix it I will if I can't I will bin

So I have thought about doing this for a while but I really feel that now is the time to do it -bye bye primark hello ha ha ha ha